Holy cow. What a week, right? Well, yes. For me, anyway. It's been an overwhelming and somehow relaxing week. On Sunday, I was just in one of those moods...almost like a trance. I was awake & felt fine. Maybe I just had a lot on my mind, but the day kind of just walked right past me. Anyway, Monday and Tuesday, I had off work. I went shopping and spent money I shouldn't have. It was good to do something for myself, though.
On Tuesday, I talked with my bishop. He had a lot of great advice and counsel. One thing that really stuck was about repentance. He was talking about how we shouldn't beat ourselves up over anything. We should always be thankful for the Savior and for the Atonement. So, we messed up. That's not okay and we can't just excuse it. But, that's what the Atonement is for, after all. That gave me chills. The way he was explaining everything just brought it to a new light. Whenever I do something I know I shouldn't, I automatically think, "Gahh! Molly! What the heck.. You know better.." I get all sorts of upset with myself. But, sometimes, I just need to look at the big picture. I remember President Packer summing it up quite nicely earlier this month.
"For those who truly desire it, there is a way back. Repentance is like unto a detergent. Even ground-in stains of sin will come out."
Okay, pause. My work shirts...are a joke. We use trays at Cracker Barrel and have to carry them everywhere. To be able to use both my hands, I usually keep my tray under my arm when I'm not using it. No big deal. I get home and - are you kidding me? My freaking armpits are brown. That shirt is nasty. Thanks to the sick trays I cart around all day. I better get some of that detergent President Packer is talking about.
But, really. Another thing my bishop was talking about is how the most difficult step in repentance is to forgive yourself. Forgive and forget, right? Wronng! Oh man. I still remember mean names I called other kids in elementary school. So, I'll never forget all those sins, but it's important to forgive myself and move on. One of the most ridiculous (and a lot of times painful) things I've struggled with is revisiting old sins. I went to an institute class once where the teacher was talking about that. Once you've gone through the repentance process, you become a new person in Christ. Those sins are forgotten and never need to be brought back up. Well, that's good news.
I just love this gospel. I love learning new things and seeing what I know change my life for the better. Things are really good. I'm extremely blessed in so many ways. I have a lot of learning and growing and improving to do, but I can do it...with lots of help :] I love all the people I have around me. I'm thankful for the examples I have in my life. My patriarchal blessing says not to fear the future, especially at this point in my life. I'm trying not to do that. I am a worrier, but I sure do enjoy life! I'm excited for the future and what's in store for me :]
Remember like 4 days ago you said that you loved blogging on your fb? I thought that meant that you updated...that's all.
ReplyDeleteAlso, maybe don't talk about your brown armpit stains. I still love you! :) Come see me!!