The one on Tuesday afternoon

Great title, huh? I really couldn't think of anything else so... Oh well.

I took work off today so I could get things done. I've been cleaning and doing some laundry.

Side note: I made it to the gym this morning and worked out for 45 minutes! I'm a beast, I know.

Anyway, like I said - today, I'm getting things done. So, I thought I'd share with you (my blog) what's been going on.

I'm still working at Vision Security but, because the summer is over, things have slowed down at work. I'm considering finding a new job. But, I don't really know about that yet. Mattie, my friend in Heber, mentioned an opening at Probst Electric. I would LOVE to live in Heber! I wish we knew where Austin would be going to Nursing School... I doesn't make sense to move anywhere right now. A girl can dream.

Austin and I just renewed our rental agreement yesterday. That means we're stuck here in Provo for another year - unless, by some miracle, we can find a reason to move, find a place to move TO, and sell this contract. heh. Again, a girl can dream.

New topic. I'm getting depressed...

The entire Seawright family started a "Biggest Loser" competition. We started September 4th (the day after Labor Day) and we'll go until January 1, 2013-ish. We want to go all the way through the holidays so, the next time we're all together afterwards, we'll end it. Oh, you want to know how to win? I'll tell you.

We're using a point system and we (well, Sherrie, Joy and I) made up. There are 3 ways to get a point in a single day:
1. Exercise/Work out for 40 minutes
2. Get 2 servings of fruit and 3 servings of veggies in
3. Record everything you ate in a food diary - which is a Google Doc I created. We keep of all our points in the Google Doc.

So, the competition is really to help us make healthier eating and exercise habits. Since there are 4 vegans competing, it's actually pretty hard to keep up! Man, I admire them.

Honestly, other than what I just told you, there isn't much going on. I do have some venting to do... So, it you don't wanna hear that, please skip to the end. Ok.

I love a lot of people in my ward and I would never direct any comments at any specific person. But, I'm having such a hard time "socializing" well... more "fitting in" in our ward. Austin and I joined the 24th Ward last September. Granted, we weren't the best at going to our OWN ward. We used to go to Heber or his Grandma's nursing home ward at lot more than we do now. We got better by spring-time-ish and started making a real effort. A few months ago, our ward combined with the 25th Ward. So, cool. More people to meet - just as we felt like we were fitting in. Nope.

What I don't understand about this decision is WHY they decided to combine two married student wards in the middle of summer. They were both small (duh), but would fill up again in August - when the school year started (duh). It totally did. Austin and I got to church maybe 2 minutes late on Sunday and had to sit in the cultural hall. Ugh. I don't really care about sitting in chairs. But, it's more distracting being so far away, it's harder to hear the speakers, and that means pretty much everyone in Sacrament Meeting is shoulder to shoulder. My fave. Jk. No one's fave.

So, I'm happy to try to get to know people. I tell Austin we should get to Sunday School fast so we can have a good spot. We were the first ones in there. No one said a word to us. Everyone was already talking to their super-duper-lol-omg-besties so I didn't want to interrupt. So, I turn around to a girl I had talked to a little from our previous/half of the ward and tell her I think her shirt is cute. We did the "OH thanks! Yeah! Like - where'd you get it?!? LOL. The mall!" K. Great. I commented in class so people would know I'm nice and have a brain. I like to be portrayed as having a brain.

My actual calling was (before the wards combined and 3/4 of the people are now left calling-less) "Relief Society Greeter." Wow. Even worse? They told me not to stand at the door and get to know the girls' names or anything. They just wanted me to sit and mingle the with girls around me. Are you serious? Ok. So... do what everyone else is doing? I feel special. So, I tried to "magnify my calling" and mingle. Even WORSE? I couldn't find a single person to talk to! Don't believe me? Come peek in my RS next week and watch. I literally sat in the center of the room. Right in the center of the middle row. I sat between a new girl and the bishop's wife. They both (quite literally) turned their backs to me and talked to the girls on the other side of them. I look behind me - no one to talk to. The girls in front of me are engaged in a conversation I can't really hear. Awesome.

It's like one of those movies that makes you tear up for the lonely person... Well, if you have a heart and tear up at stuff like that. I tried really hard not to cry on the way home when I was telling Austin about it. If it were the first week this has happened, I wouldn't feel so bad. But, I asked Austin if I come across as a snob or stuck up or something. He said he really doesn't think I do, but how would poor Austin tell me even if that were the case?

Anyway, I challenge everyone reading this to go out and make someone feel welcome. Make sure they know they're wanted. If you see a "quiet" girl who "never wants to talk to anyone," just think of me. She probably DOES want to talk to someone. Probably anyone. She probably wants friends so she feels comfortable going to church and to ward activities. That's probably why she doesn't go - she feels stupid. Everyone wants to feel wanted. I've never been in this position. I think I always fell into an older group or had friends. I was always part of the group by default, if nothing else.

I was talking to my mom and we talked about how people probably do end up feeling bad and stop going to church or just learn to automatically make themselves outsiders because that's what they're used to. I'm so glad I have a testimony. I don't go to church for the other people in my ward. I go for me. I'm there to feel the spirit, build my personal testimony, and learn about the gospel.

All of that being said, I've met a few great girls (and guys) in our ward. I know some people are just involved and have kids and can't always come up and talk to me. That keeps me going. I know there are people who care but I'm not their charity case - and I don't want to be. All I want is a friend.

I hope, going forward, I can work hard to notice girls who may be feeling left out or need some extra attention. Maybe that's why I'm going through this. Maybe, instead of chatting with friends, I need to be making an effort to find others who feel like me and they'll become my friends.

Anyway, venting over.

I've been avoiding the dishes in the sink all morning. I better do those so Austin doesn't think I'm a good for nothing wife ;)

Thanks for reading!