Bless the mess and the stress

Most of my posts are basically made up of my pent-up feelings. I use my blog as a much-needed outlet. I really appreciate everyone being so kind and understanding. I'm sure there are so many comments and so much advice you could all give me. I really appreciate your wise judgement in knowing when to (& when not to) share those thoughts. We all know have sensitive I am ;)

That being said, here's another one of those posts. 

I feel like I'm on a continuous mission to simplify my life. I focus on letting go of one thing, turn around, and realize this other "stress" or "source of anxiety" is basically eating me alive. I'm sure everyone experiences this - to a certain degree. 

But, I feel like I'm in over my head. When did life get so busy & complicated? I mean, aside from everything I need to get done at home (laundry, pick up, deep clean, organize, maintain, cook, grocery shop, & all the panning that goes into everything), then there's work - for both Austin & myself, taking care of Doug keeping up with friends & family, church calling, doctor appointments (which are most likely outside the valley because no one takes my insurance), I'm not even going to try to finish this long list. Then, don't even get me started on the ridiculous things most of us (somehow) feel obligated to do... Like, Facebook or Instagram, get-togethers with all different friends and family members - even at the most inconvenient times, church and community functions...  All of which eat into "non-mandatory" but more important things we all "have the intention" of doing, like family dinners, quality date nights, relaxing/meditation time, exercising, making phone calls to catch up with loved ones... I mean, man! & (as if I need to be reminded) I don't even have kids yet!

Austin and I have deemed this "our year" and I really want to make it that. I want to focus on what's important. We want to continue to grow and improve our relationship. We want to make a ton of memories and make sure each other feels loved.

So, that's that. If you feel like I disappear or a while, that means I'm doing my job. BUT, I don't want to bail on anyone... Or seem like I've lost interest. I love ALL my friends and family. But, I need to declutter my life. I need to organize and sort out my priorities. I need to spend my down time at home and learn to say no to extra "clutter."

Most of all, I need to give Austin more quality time and attention. I mean, we see each other a lot. We talk about almost everything. But, I don't feel like we get each other's best. We have each other rushing around (or still asleep) in the morning and worn out in the evening. He's my one. He deserves my energy. I'm glad he still loves me after seeing so much of my worst. But, I'm ready to share all the good I can with the #1 person in my life. I'm ready to bring our marriage to the next level.

I'm sick of wasting time. I don't want to live "ok" days anymore. I want each one to be a good, fulfilling breath of fresh air. I want to do what I love and learn to love more.

So, here's to appreciating what's most important. Here's to living life to the maximum "good" we can - every single day.