As I mentioned before, anyone with a yellow personality type has a hard time, not only with decision making, but also with committing. I don't think I'm one who has a lot of trouble with commitment relationship-wise. But, when it comes to making major life choices, I don't want to make any mistakes. When I feel like things aren't working out, I bail. I just give up. For some unconscious reason, I would rather give up than fail. That way, I just look lazy... Instead of dumb, of course. Oh, perfect.
One of the only times I feel like things in my life are okay is when I talk to my bishop. I haven't been to my own ward in a long time, which may be why I'm worrying so much lately. My bishop has talked to me about a mission. My response every time is that it could be great, but I have plenty of time to decide. Okay. I've got 8 months until I turn 21. That is.. really weird. So, I don't have as much time as I thought.
So, I could go on a mission - Wow.
I've been talking to a friend about night classes at BYU.
I could get a second job and save money until...? Oh. Where is my life going?
I could take out a second loan for school and pay two loans at the same time.
Sometime, in the (hopefully not-too-distant) future, I would love to go back to school. I've looked at UVU quite a bit. I'm super interested in their behavioral science program. Maybe I should go talk to an advisor there, just to see what they think.
One thing holding me back from school just now is a mission. What if I decided to go? I should probably just work and save money up until then, instead of only going to one - maybe two semesters of school before.
A mission? Am I serious? I'm the girl that can't always wake up in time for church! - 1:00 church, that is. I would have a lot of work to do and it may not be for me... But, I think I would love it.
I think what I want (actually, need) most out of this post is advice. Anything you've got, throw it at me. I'm just at a weird point in life. Nothing is set in stone - Nothing. I've moved so much in the past two years, I think I'm just depending on change. But, I already signed a housing contract for August 2010 - April 2011. So, I'm pretty much stuck here in Provo. Now, everyone that's reading this, what do I do next? Some of you have been here before - kinda. You may know what I'm going through. Somewhat. I know the mistakes I've made and I'm trying to figure out what to do next.
So, if you'd like to try to help fix me, give it your best shot. I'm all ears.
Oh man I hate making decisions too! A mission would be way awesome, you should talk to Emily about it! Also I recommend school too, if that is something you want to do. School isn't for everyone, but I think having a degree would be helpful in the long run. Apply for FAFSA and you might qualify for a grant which you don't have to pay back!! They also offer student loans that you don't pay back or earn interest on until you graduate. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteFor me, it was my mission helped me aquire skills and knowledge that helped me make choices about my future...
ReplyDeleteI never changed as much in so short a time as I did on my mission. It helped me overcome some of things I hated most about myself. It's really hard, but life changing.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all it is amazing to me that you are almost 21.....crazy! A mission is wonderful. I agree with Lynne and Josh that a mission teaches you and helps you change yourself in ways that are very difficult in other situations. I know for me it was a choice that I had to make on my own terms, and once I did there was no turning back. Sure it was tough, it was Provo for crying out loud! But it was awesome! Good luck in your decision!
ReplyDeleteJust remember that the decision is yours and you can't rely on other to make it for you. Figure out your priorities and what the Lord has in mind for you first, that will help you get started. There probably isn't one right decision, you just have to pick a good one and stick to it no matter what. That's my two cents.
ReplyDeleteBen is definitely right; it has to be what's best for you. My comment was just my experience at the time. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteYou will figure it out...I know it sounds totally dumb, but if you are living right, you might just be inspired...things tend to fall into place or come your way in the least way you expect it. I'm not saying don't work hard, but a lot of great things happen (jobs, relationships, friends, financial opportunities, etc) when you aren't exactly looking for them. Just keep being yellow & trying to balance all the good things in life!
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